The Sex Game- The Red Team's Turn
by Darkwater
Summary: Its the SEX GAME!!! RANDOM PAIRINGS BEWARE!
1. Default Chapter

THE SEX GAME!!!  
  
BY: DARKWATER  
  
Disclaimer: Fushigi Yugi isn't mine.  
  
TV SHOW PERSON: LADIES AND GENTS, ITS THAT TIME AGAIN, THE TIME FOR LOVE, THE TIME FOR EMBARRASSMENT, TIME FOR THE SEX GAME!!! AND NOW YOUR HOST OF THE SHOW, NEW JERSEYS VERY OWN PAMELA ARREUGICNIV.  
  
::CHEERING::  
  
PAMELA: SHUT YER HOLES!!! ::SPITS A LOOGIE:: ALRIGHT LETS GET THIS DAMN SHOW ON THE ROAD. ::LOOKS A CUE CARDS:: LETS SEE. WELCOME TO THE SEX GAME, HERE WE HAVE TWO TEAMS, THE RED TEAM AND THE BLUE TEAM. EACH TEAM WILL COMPETE TO WIN A PRIZE. HERE ARE THE RULES OF THE GAME.  
  
::CUE CARDS DROP::  
  
PAMELA: WHAT THE HELL!!! HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THE RULES OF THE DAMN GAME???  
  
MANAGER: Sorry Miss Pamela ::fixes cue cards::  
  
PAMELA: OK, THE RULES. ::SPITS LOOGIE:: WE WILL START WITH ONE TEAM. EACH MEMBER ON THAT TEAM IS ASKED A QUESTION, IF THEY GET THEIR QUESTION RIGHT, THEY GET TO CHOOSE A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSING TEAM TO HAVE SEX WITH, IF THEY GET THEIR QUESTION WRONG, THEN, I CHOOSE SOMEONE FROM THE OPPOSING TEAM FOR THEM TO HAVE SEX WITH. ALRIGHT! LETS MEET THE TEAMS. THE RED TEAM!!!!  
  
Tamahome: Im Tamahome  
  
Miaka: Im Miaka  
  
Meredith: Im Meredith  
  
Chichiri: Im Chichiri no da!  
  
Rachel: Im Rachel  
  
Tomo: My name is Tomo  
  
Tasuki: IM TASUKI HA HA HA  
  
Nuriko: I am Nuriko  
  
Jackie: Im me.. I mean Jackie  
  
Marci: .Im Marci.  
  
PAMELA: LETS MEET THE BLUE TEAM!!  
  
Yui: IM YUI AND I SHALL HAVE TAMAHOME FOR MYSELF.. HES MINE  
  
Miboshi: My name is Miboshi  
  
Hotohori: My name is Hotohori  
  
Nakago: I am Nakago  
  
Ashitare: roar eeh reree ere erhee  
  
Chiriko: Im the real Chiriko ::glares at Amiboshi::  
  
Amiboshi: Im not.. I mean Im Amiboshi  
  
Soi: Soi  
  
Suboshi: heh heh. Im Suboshi  
  
Mitsukake: Im a doctor, Mitsukakes my name, healings my game.  
  
PAMELA: ENOUGH LETS TAKE A BREAK!  
  
::off air::  
  
Suboshi: heehee!  
  
Jackie: SUBOSHI!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Suboshi: Who are you?  
  
Jackie: Oh im a big fan!!!  
  
Suboshi: OH REALLY?? AMIBOSHI CHECK IT OUT I HAVE A FAN!  
  
Amiboshi: really?  
  
::Jackie hugs Suboshi::  
  
Suboshi: See!!! Amiboshi: Congratulations.  
  
Marci: Oh don't be jealous Amiboshi, I love you!  
  
Amiboshi: SUBOSHI IN YOUR FACE!  
  
Suboshi: Hey meanie!  
  
Jackie: SUBOSHI! YOU'RE MINE!  
  
Suboshi: heh alright!  
  
Meredith: Those hornballs  
  
Rachel: HAHA!  
  
Meredith: All Jackie ever wants is sex!  
  
Rachel: HAHA!  
  
Pamela: ::on air:: OK TIMES UP LETS BEGIN! ::spits a loogie:: WE'LL START WITH THE RED TEAM TAMAHOME YOU'RE FIRST! DOES JACKIE HAVE A DOG?  
  
Tamahome: Uh.. yeah she has 3  
  
Pamela: WRONG YOU SICK LITTLE TURD! SHE HAS NONE YOU HAVE SEX WITH YUI RIGHT NOW!!  
  
Tamahome: NO!  
  
Pamela: NOW NOW I SAY DO IT!  
  
Tamahome: Ok fine  
  
Pamela: NEXT QUESTION GOES TO MIAKA. MIAKA HOW MANY FRESHES IN A DOUBLE MINT GUM?  
  
Miaka: 10?  
  
Pamela: WRONG WRONG WRONG! THERES 2!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE SEX WITH ASHITARE NOW!  
  
Ashitare: reah rora err eere oraar  
  
Miaka: Ew gross  
  
Pamela: NOW DAMNIT! ::spits loogie::  
  
Miaka: Ok ok ok god.  
  
Pamela: NEXT QUESTION GOES TO MEREDITH! MEREDITH, HOW OLD AM I?  
  
Meredith: 14  
  
PAMELA: DING DING DING DING! RIGHT YOU HAVE SEX WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT!  
  
Meredith: I want Hotohori  
  
Hotohori: Yes I love these aggressive women of the 2000's.  
  
Pamela: LETS TAKE A BREAK! ::spits loogie:: ::off air::  
  
Rachel: Geez I can tell this is gonna go well  
  
Jackie: ::hangs on Suboshi:: Suboshi!!!  
  
Suboshi: Jackie!  
  
Marci: ::hangs on Amiboshi:: Amiboshi!!!  
  
Amiboshi: Marci!  
  
Meredith: Yeah this is going extremely well. ::looks at Jackie and Marci:: they're totally love struck!!!  
  
Rachel: uh cheese?  
  
Jackie: hell yeah cheese is the shit!  
  
Rachel: what did you say on the last day of school?  
  
Jackie: look, I told you already!! I said to the shit that he was a shit, I told moomoo that he was a crater face, I told dirty morgan that she was dirty and I told Lauren that she was filthy.  
  
Meredith: HEEHEE HOTOHORI, NAKAGO, TOMO  
  
Tomo: I am a homo  
  
Meredith: yeah!  
  
Tomo: I love Soi  
  
Soi: EW GROSS YOU DIE!  
  
Pamela: OK ITS TIME AGAIN!!!!! ::spits loogie:: LETS CONTINUE THIS STUPID SHOW AND GET IT OVER WITH! CHICHIRI IT IS YOUR TURN TO ANSWER. WHAT DOES BOCHUJITSU MEAN?  
  
Chichiri: Sex no da?  
  
Pamela: WRONG WRONG WRONG YOU SUCK. IT MEANS INTERCOURSE YOU ALL SUCK BUTT! CLEARVIEW STINKS YOU DISGRACE CLEARVIEW. HAVE SOME SEX WITH SOI NOW FOR CRYING OUT LOUD NOW!!!  
  
Chichiri: ew no da?  
  
Soi: Nobody talks to me like that! ::Slaps Chichiri::  
  
Chichiri: Whore no da?  
  
Pamela: NOW DARN IT!!!  
  
Chichiri: Ok ok ok no da?  
  
Pamela: NEXT QUESTION IS FOR RACHEL, RACHEL WHAT IS JACKIE'S FAVORITE ICE CREAM?  
  
Rachel: Bleu Cheese?  
  
Pamela: THAT IS WRONG! YOU DIE. YOU CANNOT CHOOSE YOUR PERSON, HAVE SEX WITH MITSUKAKE NOW!  
  
Rachel: Ok.  
  
Pamela: TOMO THE HOMO YOU'RE UP. ANSWER THIS, WHAT IS JACKIE'S NEIGHBORS NAME?  
  
Tomo: Oink Oink?  
  
Pamela: YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE WRONG IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE YOU SUCK YOU ARE A DISGRACE!!! DIE NOW! HAVE SEX WITH MIBOSHI, SINCE YOU ARE A CACKLING QUEER IT SHOULDN'T BE HARD!  
  
Tomo: Hey who are you calling a cackling queer?  
  
Pamela: GO NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tomo: Geezus Women! Ok alright gosh.  
  
Pamela: BREAK TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::Spits loogie::  
  
Meredith: Wow this is so going well  
  
Jackie: I love Suboshi  
  
Rachel: IM RACHEL! YUCK MITSUKAKE IS GROSS  
  
Mitsukake: Huh? Im gonna pound you  
  
Rachel: no you're not  
  
Jackie: SUBOSHI!  
  
Suboshi: ME!!  
  
Amiboshi: MARCI!  
  
Jackie: AMIBOSHI!  
  
Marci: JACKIE HES MINE!  
  
Jackie: SUBOSHI!  
  
Amiboshi: JACKIE!!  
  
Suboshi: MARCI!!  
  
Marci: huh?  
  
Meredith: Oh my god.  
  
Rachel: they are so silly sometimes!  
  
Chichiri: yeah no da?  
  
Tomo: I am queer  
  
Meredith: that's why I love you. And I live for you!  
  
Soi: SOI!  
  
Tasuki: EEEHHHH Ew ew ew gross it smells like a crotch.  
  
Yui: I WANT TAMAHOME FOR MYSELF!!!! Tamahome: No Yui.  
  
Yui: I shall make you mine! ::sniff::  
  
Miaka: NO HES MINE YUI COME ON!  
  
Pamela: ALRIGHT LETS GO!!! TIME FOR PART THREE OF THE GAME! LETS GET THIS OVER WITH! NOW DARN IT! ::SPITS LOOGIE:: NEXT QUESTION IS FOR TASUKI! TASUKI WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?  
  
Tasuki: That's easy its.  
  
Pamela: WRONG!!! TOO LATE THAT IS SO WRONG  
  
Tasuki: WHAT!!!! April 18th!!!  
  
Pamela: WRONG!!! HAVE SEX WITH NAKAGO NOW!  
  
Tasuki: ew!  
  
Nakago: come on I shall show you my penis.  
  
Tasuki: MOMMY!!  
  
Pamela: NOW DARN YOU GUYS!  
  
Tasuki: Ok geez  
  
Pamela: NEXT QUESTION GOES TO NURIKO ::spits loogie:: NURIKO WHAT ARE YOU?  
  
Nuriko: I don't understand.  
  
Pamela: WRONG! HAVE SEX WITH CHIRIKO NOW!  
  
Nuriko: EW but Chirikos just a kid  
  
Chiriko: I don't want to be used as a breeding stud!  
  
Pamela: NOW DO IT NOW!  
  
Nuriko: ok come on.  
  
Chiriko: ew alright  
  
Pamela: JACKIE YOU'RE UP!! HOW OLD IS YUFFIE FROM FINAL FANTASY 7?????  
  
Jackie: 16  
  
Pamela: THAT IS CORRECT! YES DANDY IM GLAD SOMEBODY PAYS ATTENTION! Have sex with who ever you want!  
  
Jackie: I WANT SUBOSHI!  
  
Suboshi: YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Pamela: ALRIGHT GO FOR IT! LETS TAKE A BREAK ::spits loogie::  
  
Amiboshi: heehee! Marci if you get your question right, pick me!  
  
Marci: you dog! I was planning on it! I love you!  
  
Amiboshi: YES! I LOVE YOU TOO!  
  
Rachel: CHICHIRI I WANT YOU  
  
Chichiri: ok no da?  
  
Nakago: Tasuki has seen my penis.  
  
Tasuki: AAAHHHH AHH AHHHH AAAAHHHHH!!! GO AWAY  
  
Nakago: ::kisses Tasuki and licks his neck::  
  
Tasuki: AAAAAAAAAHHHH GET AWAY YOU LETCH!  
  
Nakago: Come to Daddy!  
  
Tasuki: AAAAAAAAAHHHH HELP!!!!  
  
Miaka: I'll save you!!! ::Miaka pounds Nakago's face in::  
  
Nakago: Hey! That wasn't supposed to happen! Jackie: heehee  
  
Suboshi: WE JUST HAD SEX!  
  
Jackie: ::turns red:: eeh!  
  
Suboshi: AMIBOSHI AND MARCI ARE NEXT!!  
  
Pamela: TIMES UP! ::SPITS LOOGIE:: MARCI YOU'RE NEXT! WHAT DOES JACKIE LIKE TO DO TO MEAT?  
  
Marci: she likes to spank it.  
  
Pamela: RIGHT RIGHT ON AND SINCE AMIBOSHI IS THE ONLY PERSON LEFT, HAVE SEX WITH HIM!  
  
Marci: YES!!!!!!  
  
Amiboshi: YES!!!!  
  
Pamela: COMING UP NEXT WE HAVE THE BLUE TEAM! 


	2. THE BLUE TEAMS TURN!

Pamela: COMING UP NEXT WE HAVE THE BLUE TEAM! LETS TAKE A BREAK!  
  
Amiboshi: Sex is so fun  
  
Suboshi: ::looks up from the big bulge in his pants:: Heh!  
  
Jackie: Suboshi put that away!  
  
Suboshi: I CANT HELP IT!!!!!  
  
Jackie: Oh my god!  
  
Rachel: That's gross!  
  
Suboshi: At least you don't have one to deal with!!!  
  
Amiboshi: Mine doesn't do that.  
  
Miboshi: neither does mine  
  
Meredith: DOWN WITH YOU MIBOSHI! And you don't have one.  
  
Miboshi: I do too  
  
Chiriko: Mine doesn't do that!  
  
Suboshi: ::turns red:: SHUT UP!!!  
  
Marci: Amiboshi make yours do that  
  
Amiboshi: uh  
  
Yui: ::runs past them crying:: I SHALL HAVE TAMAHOME FOR MYSELF!  
  
Hotohori: I Will never understand the way that girl thinks.  
  
Meredith: Hotohori hold me!  
  
Hotohori: I will indeed!  
  
Pamela: ALRIGHT TIME TO BREAK UP THIS LITTLE LOVE FEST!! TIME FOR THE BLUE TEAM TO START!!! YUI YOU'RE UP! WHAT IS THREE PLUS TWO?  
  
Yui: 5! And I Shall have Tamahome for myself!  
  
Pamela: THAT IS CORRECT YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT CHOOSE SOMEONE!  
  
Tamahome: ::whispers:: not me not me not me not me not me not me not me.  
  
Yui: TAMAHOME!  
  
Tamahome: DAMNIT!  
  
Pamela: ALRIGHT YOU TWO DO YOUR THING NOW!  
  
Tamahome: what! Come on this is gross!  
  
Pamela: NOW!  
  
Tamahome but come on shes filthy  
  
Yui: Come on Tamahome!  
  
Tamahome: Ill get you for this Pamela  
  
Pamela: NEXT! MIBOSHI WHO IS MEREDITH'S LEAST FAVORITE PERSON IN FUSHIGI YUUGI?  
  
Miboshi: Soi? Pamela: WRONG THAT IS WRONG WRONG WRONG! YOU ARE THE ONE! HAVE SEX WITH TASUKI NOW! NOW I SAY!!  
  
Miboshi: ew  
  
Tasuki: EW! We hardly make a good couple!  
  
Miboshi: No! ::Tries to possess Pamela::  
  
Pamela: GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!! HAVE SEX WITH TASUKI NOW!!  
  
Miboshi: Oh alright.  
  
Tasuki: lets get this over with you little ass.  
  
Pamela: NEXT IS HOTOHORI! HOTOHORI WHAT IS MY BROTHERS NAME?  
  
Hotohori: LUKE! It is LUKE!  
  
Pamela: THAT IS CORRECT CONGRATULATIONS MOVE UP TO 2nd GRADE! YES IM SO HAPPY SOMEBODY PAYS ATTENTION! HAVE SEX WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT!  
  
Hotohori: I choose Meredith  
  
Meredith: YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY  
  
Pamela: DO IT NOW THEN!  
  
Meredith: LETS GO!  
  
Hotohori: We shall!  
  
Pamela: ITS TIME FOR A BREAK!  
  
Amiboshi: Wow.  
  
Suboshi: Wow.  
  
Jackie: wow? What wow?  
  
Rachel: cha!  
  
Chichiri: Cha no da?  
  
Nuriko: Im such a women!  
  
Amiboshi: no shit.  
  
Nuriko: What?  
  
Amiboshi: nothing! ::smirks::  
  
Nuriko: You little shit!  
  
Amiboshi: AAAAAAHHHH  
  
Nuriko: What? Why are you screaming? ::blinks::  
  
Amiboshi: ::runs around the studio:: Help hes after me!!!  
  
Suboshi: um.. No hes not.  
  
Amiboshi: ::turns around:: oh. HEEHEE!  
  
Jackie: Suboshi come here!  
  
Suboshi: Oh here I am!!  
  
Marci: AMIBOSHI!???  
  
Amiboshi: right here!  
  
Marci: ROMP WITH ME!  
  
Meredith: Huh? ROMP! ::romps with Hotohori::  
  
Rachel: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN BED TOGETHER YOU LESBIANS???  
  
Jackie: HA HA HA!!  
  
Suboshi: I don't get it!  
  
Amiboshi: me neither.  
  
Pamela: ALRIGHT! LETS BEGIN NOW! NAKAGO, HOW MANY BUTTS DOES A CIGARETTE HAVE?  
  
Nakago: One?  
  
Pamela: THAT IS CORRECT! PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR SEX PARTNER!  
  
Nakago: I choose Tomo.  
  
Tomo: Oh my. I feel so honored.  
  
Pamela: ENOUGH! HAVE SEX NOW!  
  
Tomo: Ok.  
  
Nakago: Lets go! I shall once again show my penis.  
  
Tomo: Alright!  
  
Pamela: ASHITARE YOU ARE NEXT WHAT IS THE ANSWER TO BUTT PLUT CROTCH?  
  
Ashitare: eer raor oaroar raror rroar eer argh  
  
Pamela: THAT IS CORRECT! HAVE SEX WITH WHO EVER YOU WANT!  
  
Ashitare: aoor ora arghe arr  
  
Pamela: NURIKO THAT MEAN NOW DO IT!  
  
Nuriko: WHAT??!??  
  
Pamela: NOW!  
  
Nuriko: EW GROSS!  
  
Pamela: NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Nuriko: Ew alright.  
  
Pamela: CHIRIKO, WHAT IS 2346897 DIVIDED BY 46?  
  
Chiriko: I don't know  
  
Pamela: WRONG! HAVE SEX WITH RACHEL NOW!  
  
Rachel: WHAT!  
  
Chiriko: WHAT?  
  
Pamela: HAVE SEX WITH EACH OTHER NOW!  
  
Chiriko: alright geez, lets go Rachel!  
  
Rachel: Oh this is disgusting!  
  
Pamela: LETS TAKE A BREAK!  
  
Miboshi: I am gay  
  
Chiriko: ::is recovering from sex:: I know  
  
Rachel: I HATE SEX  
  
Meredith: I love it! Romp with me Hotohori  
  
Rachel: IM A ROMPER  
  
Hotohori: IM A FUCKER  
  
Jackie: IM BIPOLAR!  
  
Suboshi: IM SUBOSHI OF THE SEIRYU 7!  
  
Amiboshi: I AM SUBOSHI'S BROTHER!  
  
Marci: I LOVE AMIBOSHI!  
  
Amiboshi: I love Marci!  
  
Suboshi: I love Jackie  
  
Jackie: I love you more!  
  
Pamela: ENOUGH WITH THE MUSHY GUSHY CRAP! AMIBOSHI YOU'RE UP, HOW MANY BEAST GODS ARE THERE IN THE UNIVERSE OF THE FOUR GODS BOOK??  
  
Amiboshi: 4  
  
Pamela: THAT IS CORRECT YOU ARE GREAT! HAVE SEX WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT!  
  
Amiboshi: Marci! COME AND GET ME!  
  
Marci: YAY!  
  
Pamela: SOI YOU'RE UP! WHO KILLED NURIKO?  
  
Soi: Ashitare  
  
Pamela: VERY GOOD HAVE SEX WITH WHOEVER YOU WANT!  
  
Soi: Chichiri! Come here!  
  
Chichiri: NO WAY NO DA?  
  
Soi: Come here now!  
  
Pamela: DO IT!  
  
Soi: IM TRYING!!!!!!  
  
PAMELA: NOBODY YELLS AT ME! ::disqualifies Soi and Soi is thrown out of the game::  
  
Chichiri: Yes!!! No Da!  
  
Pamela: SUBOSHI YOU ARE NEXT! HURRY UP ANSWER THIS WHAT SMELLS LIKE A CROTCH?  
  
Suboshi: A crotch?  
  
Pamela: THAT IS CORRECT! YOU ARE SO RIGHT YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE RIGHT! HAVE SEX WITH EITHER JACKIE OR MIAKA!  
  
Suboshi: JACKIE!!!  
  
Jackie: SUBOSHI!  
  
Suboshi: lets go do it!  
  
Jackie: yeah lets go do it!!!  
  
Pamela: ALRIGHT LAST QUESTION MITSUKAKE WHICH TWINS ARE ON FULL HOUSE?  
  
Mitsukake: the Clinton twins?  
  
Pamela: THAT IS WRONG! HAVE SEX WITH MIAKA RIGHT NOW! AND FOLKS WE ARE OUT OF TIME! THANK YOU FOR WATCHING THE SEX GAME! GOOD NIGHT! 


End file.
